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stay2nd
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Name: Velma
Country: Singapore
Birthday: 10/17/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: TV, movies, listening to music, annoying the crap out of almost everyone, surf the net, make websites, write, write and write! i want to be a journalist goddammit.
Expertise: talking to my cats and surprisingly they reply back most of the time. either in 'meows', if they're glad that we're conversing or in 'argh', if they're pissed at me or something.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
4/5/2001
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| it was 3 years ago when i last blogged here. time literally flew. i was still in school, unsure of my future. i'm a semi-working adult now, still unsure. i don't think i'll ever be sure. which is both a good and bad thing. it's life afterall. it's not worth living when everything is all set out for you. right?
reading words i wrote years ago never fails to surprise me. i wrote, "right now i'm working on becoming a magazine writer. i hope that materialises." fastforward to 2009, i'm working at a magazine and i do write a monthly music column. not too shabby. the power of words. | | |
| i need to work on the food review. i SO want that blogging gig. but somehow, each time i start writing, i stop cause i always feel that i'd screw it up. people always complain about my awkward sentences. there's nothing awkward about me. just the way i string words together. argh. | | |
| i suffered a relapse of judgement last week. for those who were worried, stop. i'm better. it was a crush. i just met him just now. no longer am i feeling moppy. cause come to think of it, if we're meant to get to know each other, we will. i think he noticed me. i was right in front of him. and as i was leaving, we past each other. i hope something does happen. i might need divine intervention. honestly, it does not have to turn romantic. i just want to get to know him. cause i truly dig the guy. *sigh* looking at him as he sings, i can't help but think of all the possibilities. somehow i'm attracted by the idea of knowing the person who's performing. especially in his case. i feel like giving his frail body a warm hug before he performs and cheer him on. right now, i'm more of a stalker than a fan. haha.. maybe it'll take time. maybe i'll forever be a bystander. either way, i'll be rooting.
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| old friends have been telling me that i never speak of what's on my mind. i do. just not with them, per se. i'm not sure why. i know i self-disclose. perhaps it matters alot to me, who the people i tell it to. maybe if i die, they'll realise why i've chosen not to talk. keeping everything to myself. sometimes i feel that no one is listening cause everyone is too self-absorbed with their own dealings. i don't want to sound like i care. it seems like i know of everyone' troubles and none of them know of mine. is it my fault? i don't think so. i don't talk when no one is listening. everything that i do has to serve it's purpose. of course, i do indulge in the unnecessary at times. i just wish when i die, i'll be able to see how they respond. what they thought of me? how do they really feel? cause right now, no one is listening and i'm not speaking. on a more depressive note, i fell for a boy. everything about it is complicated. and i'm feeling really sick. as if i want to hurl. i don't want to be a drama mama, but it hurts. cause i hear him sing. and i know his around. he just does not know.. that all i want, is to hang around. to sit in the crowd and have him notice me. i seldom feel weak emotionally but right now i'm a wreck. it is very lonely. and i do cry. | | |
| i received a concern, "no entry since august" from michel. i feel so touched that there are people who are interested to know about what's going on in my life. i appreciate it, michel. i'm still alive. coping with being an undergraduate. it's tougher than it looks. this semester itself, i feel, is going to be another killer 4 months. first week into the start of school, we're already working on several presentations. i hate group work. not that i don't enjoy working with my friends. it's just that, i feel pressurise when such thing occurs. expectations. presentations. argh. meetings after meetings. i like to feel carefree. no obligations what-so-ever. for someone who hs just turned 21, i sound like i never want to grow up. haha.. i think to some extend that's true. i don't want to worry about bills and a stable job. maybe i should run away to a remote town somewhere in south of france. everyday spent gazing at the sky. that'll be nice. wishful thinking on my part. it's ironic. considering that i've always craved a high paced life. i envision running around, global trotting to exotic places. not desk bound, thank you. i hope i get to do that. move around, meet new people. honestly, i don't really care what i do. the important thing is to enjoy what i'm doing. i'll be back. in a few months time, maybe? | | |
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